Isn’t it ironic that the guy from the very anti-gay group the Family Research Council is named Tony Perkins? He shares the same name as the closeted actor who used to be Troy Donohue’s boyfriend and later died of AIDS without ever coming out.

To all the bitches out there who hate when trannies don’t come out and say it before the first date: Maybe if you weren’t so closed-minded and fundamentally opposed to us, we’d be more inclined to be open and honest with you.

I listened to you yabber on endlessly for a year while we dated about this and about that, but now that you have someone new you can’t even dignify me with a telephone conversation now and then?

To the bitch about how men’s dress shoes aren’t garishly colored enough: Why don’t you just find out where the televangelists and megachurch pastors shop, so you can buy yours there?

You know the women who try to flirt their way to the top? Hello! If the man is gay, honey it ain’t gonna work. Stop being a pathetic whore and work hard like the rest of do!

You always wanted to surround yourself with “urban culture” and those who exude it. I bet it really gets to you that your new girlfriend is a run-of-the-mill sporty dyke who’d rather spend every waking moment cycling through the countryside!

I express interest in one Asian guy, and suddenly you ask if I have an Asian fetish. Can’t I be attracted to people of other races because they’re good-looking without you reducing them to sex toys?

I’m so sick of rich suburban moms who think that just because I’m gay, I’m going to redesign their foyer as a “favor.” Learn how to drive your SUV, take down the Dubya lawn sign and then call me!

Why is it OK for the president to go on about gay marriage and how wrong it is, but then make statements like, “America was founded on the principle that we are all created equal”? Hypocrisy is an ugly color, and he wears it gracelessly.

To the person who bitched about the biker bar: I’ve been turned away from one, and it’s so funny. Apparently I violated their dress code — a dress code in a biker bar!

Twenty-five years into the AIDS epidemic, you would think gay men would be experts at safe sex and paragons of understanding. Instead, there is more stigma and denial than ever, and the infection rate is growing.

You love having sex with me but refuse a relationship because you’re too scarred from your last one. Yet you have no trouble telling everyone but me some rich public figure is your boyfriend. Why don’t you just admit that you’re a social climber instead of lying to me about it?

Why is it there are no average-sized, average-looking men in gay porn movies? Not everyone has 13-inch penises with six-packs. Let’s have some average-sized, normal looking guys in these films.

To those who preach at me: I believe that your holy books are the work of fallible human beings, not magic sky pixies. If I’m mistaken, feel free to present evidence to prove me wrong.

Don’t be a hater just because you spent all your money on Tina and Prada and can’t afford the $350 tickets to see Madonna hang from her glittery disco cross!

Wow, I had no idea there were others who obsess over the hot meteorologists on the Weather Channel. I thought I was the only one. Thanks for the safety-in-numbers, bitch!

I could not believe this bitch: “Eating something with carbs at dinner is bad manners to you? Is there a new gay etiquette that I don’t know about?” Yes, it’s called walking out on any idiot who would claim such a thing!

I don’t know what to do! “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” has always been my favorite movie, but I’m just now learning that Jane Russell — still going strong at 85 — is a right-wing fundamentalist Christian! Thank God Marilyn was a Gemini and could call upon the personality necessary to deal with working with her.

I don’t understand all this “breeder” sneer that some gay men see fit to adopt. We forget if it weren’t for pairs of breeders, none of us would exist.

Steven Zeeland, author of “Military Trade” and “Barracks Bad Boys,” said Marines are indeed bottoms and shockingly it’s the Navy that’s well stocked with tops. You could buy a book but enlisting is much more fun!

To the guy who asked whether Marines are all bottoms: That’s why they wear heavy boots — to keep their feet from lifting into the air.

I’m a Marine, and yes we are all bottoms. That’s why we hitch rides with Navy guys. Let me break it down for you. All Marines are bottoms. Most Navy sailors are too gay to function. All Army soldiers are sexually confused. And the Air Force airmen are some snobby bitches.

All the self described “straight acting gay men” (wearing Abercrombie logos doesn’t make you straight acting, it only makes you look needy and immature) out there hate on men who they think act femme should look in the mirror and realize everything is relative.

There is no such thing as a bisexual guy. A bisexual guy is one who is gay until he cums, and then is straight as he rushes to put on his clothes and run out the door.

I don’t get it. What do you mean by “big bad dykes should bend their knees on the dance floor.” If someone is in the way, just move!

There is such a thing as right and wrong and leading a good life. Take a look at one of the 45-year-old barflies next time you are out and see what happens with no meaning, integrity or purpose in your life.

Why do gay men have to play games? Why the “let’s see who calls whom next ... and how often?” If you truly like someone, why play with emotions? If you don’t like him, why stretch it out? Don’t you realize that it hurts? A lot. “Honesty is the best.

Here’s a news flash for the steroid queens: You’ll be dead by 50 from steroid-related heart and liver damage. Are your muscles worth that much?

Dating makes me feel like I’m at a middle school dance all over again. Only this time I am completely suave with the girls, it’s the guys I don’t know what to do with.

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